So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
