Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
