I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
