no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
