i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There's always time for handjobs
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
