I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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