Duck Duck Cougar?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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