So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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