those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
