he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Randomize
