She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
