please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
