He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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