so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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