The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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