I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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