help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
