i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
