I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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