3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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