omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
