Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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