You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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