The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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