I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
