YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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