The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
