i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
