My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
