somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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