She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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