No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
