Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
