so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
