He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
