Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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