Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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