Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
