Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
