I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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