Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize