Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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