And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize