just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i now understand why vodka
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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