We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i barfeds in our rink
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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