I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
