I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
