Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
