Too much gin, very little bucket
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
