what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
