I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
