The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
