I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
