Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
