It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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