Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
