Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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