I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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