OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
