turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
