I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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