But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
