Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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